Monday, November 29, 2010

Back... bitches... ?

After a wonderful vacation away with the Bear, I am back in Toronto... BOOOOOO.


I feel heavier... I think I may have gained about 10 pounds due to thanksgiving, oh well...such is life (and no mom and dad, I will not go to the gym). Sadly enough the only pictures I took on my trip were of Jer and I at Carnegie Deli... a true thisiswhyyourefat.com moment brought to you by... ME. Case in point, see picture (as usual I ate my whole half and Jeremy left the whole turkey portion of his, so sad). However, New York was great (as always). We traveled all the way to Brooklyn just to get my Jeffrey Campbell boots (Yeah, I got them!!!), went to the Meat Packing District, Soho, Times Square... the usual. I was a little disappointed with shopping and did not buy as much as I thought.

Other then all of that, I saw Harry Potter!!!! I don't know which I was more excited about, seeing Harry Potter, or the Chronicles of Narnia preview that came on before (get ready mom)! Also, how much do you want to be a wizard or a witch after you watch Harry Potter? Like I have dreams for days after watching the movie. I dream that I can fly and cast spells... I envy Meryl in her witchcraft class... I wonder if she has learned to make polyjuice potion yet...Probably not, I'll have to settle for best friends that are not witches or wizards, and just learn about it in ridiculous university classes (just kidding I love you non the less)... still cool, regardless if she is a real witch or not.

On to the next exciting point of the weekend, maybe even one of the highlights, or as my dad would say "one of the douchiest points" of my weekend. Guess who I Jesse "S" (I don't like to tell people my middle name) Lyman saw driving around Freehold New Jersey!? Yes folks... that's right.... you guessed it!!!! THE SITUATION. The 60 year old looking guido himself driving his 2008 used Bentley coupe, what a stud. As if the world wasn't filled with enough douches already, this guy had to come along... I  can't lie though... I got really excited. If I had a little guidette in me, I would have flashed him... however, I may have exploded being the grenade I am. Jokes jokes jokes.... About the flashing part (I swear I would never flash someone).  I took the liberty of including a picture of him and labeling it "old man", in case you were not 100 percent convinced, now you are. It does not take away from the fact I saw him though... BE EXCITED FOR ME.

OK, 2:45 am for real. What have I been doing for the past 4 hours since I got home from seeing Jer? Why, I'm so glad you asked... I have been obsessing over finding a faux fur vest thanks to my sister. I tried a bunch on in New York and decided I look fabulous in them (no matter how man repelling I am, please see www.manrepeller.com for details, she is my saint). So, now I am obsessively scrounging the interweb for a store that sells a fur vest in Toronto... no such luck as of yet. Until next time... A little something to tickle your fancy...

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

tomorrow tomorrow ill love ya tomorrow....

Can tomorrow come any slower?!?

Apparently it can... I took it upon my self to call a taxi over 24 hours early so I could feel like I was leaving to the States earlier then I actually was. Cool Jesse...

Let's talk about something else... Like the fact that theoutnet.com is having a Marc Jacobs New York Rocker bag giveaway and I entered it. Don't tell anyone because I want to win... and the less entries means I will. But since no one actually reads this but my parents, sister, boyfriend and the random friend or two... I am assuming no one else will enter it. Thanks guys, your the best! But seriously... hello you sexy looking bag, RAWR.

I actually can't wait for tomorrow, if I didn't just pee... I would probably pee my pants. I have already planned out my Saturday New York route and where I want to go to shop. Don't judge me... My wardrobe is lacking and this future fashion industry queen needs to get cracking on her looks.

I took it upon my self to contact every store Jeffrey Campbell listed on their website to ask whether they sold the Pixie boot. Apparently I'm mentally disabled as one girl snarled at me and said "Umm seriously? we don't carry those this season". Thanks for shattering my hopes and dreams bitch. Finally, I took a page out of Dad's book and contacted JC himself (not Jesus Christ), but Jeffrey Campbell. They gave me a few stores which yes, sell the Pixie- since it's still in season (thanks a lot you stuck up cow). Sorry I live in Canada and the Pixie just came out "this season", I must be delusional BUT if I am not mistaken, they are still in this season as I just looked at the creepy trailer trash looking SS/2011 lookbook and BOOM there they are! Whatev i'm over it.

Anyway, I have had enough obsessive searching the internet for sales, deals and contests.... it's time to go to bed and or watch tv. More so go to bed... or play wordmole on my blackberry, I will never admit to that other then on here, only because no one reads this. It's harder then it looks.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Retraction

Okay,
I just saw that Oprah did her favorite things episode in 2 parts... I retract my previous statement about her not giving away "houses and cars and shit". She gave away "cars and shit"... specifically a 2012 Volkswagen Beetle, thanks for proving me wrong Oprah.

"it's just uh... a little crush, not like I faint, everytime we touch"


Okay,
Question of the day… week, month, year…Is it OK to want a 12 year old boy as my boyfriend (sorry Jer)?... But, Greyson Chance is seriously in the running... and I don't mean for America's Next top model. Last night my friend Alli and I were swooning over Greyson and his incredible voice (which is different then our usual thisiswhyourefat.com swooning- If you have not been there I suggest you go). This made me wonder… is it okay to have a “singer crush” (let’s call it that) on a prepubescent teen? I am starting to sound like Dr. Phil and Oprah now (sad it's her last year). Too bad she can’t have me be a guest on her show for being a 22 year old mildly inappropriate individual. Do you think she would categorize me as a “sexual predator”? Whatever, don’t judge me… it’s not about you. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kKbWvHbf2ho&feature=player_embedded

Speaking of Oprah, I missed her favorite things episode so I did a little recap on the website. As usual, I was expecting Oprah to give away houses, and cars and shit so honestly I was a little disappointed when i saw her toting brownie mix and mac and cheese, which I could walk to the store and get. Way uncool Oprah. Other then that, I guess a TV, Ipad and Cruise is pretty cool... but don't tell anyone I said that. I say all this now but I'm sure I would be the one screaming and jumping up and down crying in the audience over brownie mix... So unfortunate, yet so classic. 

Thus I sit in my "Europe A La Mode" class, which somehow can be translated into "European Fashion" (don't ask me how), contemplating Alexander Mcqueen's 2009/2010 Ready to Wear collection as I am listening to a presentation that refers to it, schvitsing from the sudden heat increase in this classroom. Somehow we got into a debate on whether it is fashionable to wear too many layers in the winter and sweat too much versus wearing too little and freeze... Oh Europe A La Mode, how truly fashionable you are... It's time to pay attention... Will write more later, facebook is calling (did i say pay attention)? 


Sunday, November 21, 2010

How it all began...

Okay, this is all so new and strange to me (like being born again, but less weird)...

I feel like I should be starting with "dear diary", however,  i would probably be shunned by the blogging world...

My dad (Lawrie, Lawrence- whatever you want to call him) always tells me how I should create a "twitter" or a blog since I call him and my mom 80 times a day. Listen, when a girls got something to say, a girls got something to say, and I have a lot to say. So let me break it down for you. This wondrous blog will highlight the marvelous life that belongs to me, and what goes on inside my brain. Specifically fashion, and everyday things that I encounter. Not much else happens in my life... sorry to disappoint, I know I said my life was marvelous but I kind of lied.

First things first, I am awaiting my departure to the land of the free (United States) for American Thanksgiving to visit "the bear" (Jeremy, my boyfriend)! I apologize to all Canadian's, but I have never wanted to be American more then I do during this wonderful holiday (duh- Black Friday).  I will be making a special trip from Jersey to New York City (Concrete Jungle where dreams are made of), in order to spend my hard earned money on clothing I do not necessarily need, making my mother proud- sorry mom. I've been on the hunt for a great pair of ankle boots for quite some time... I hope New York doesn't disappoint.

 I'm a huge fan of the Jeffrey Campbell Pixie boot in Black suede and have had my eye/ eyes (not only one), on these puppies for a while, however I would not complain if anyone wanted to contribute an extra..... $1495.00 (not to be too exact) dollars in order for me to get a pair of Christian Louboutin's either, I would not object. Okay, if we are getting really specific, I will give you a name... its the "Tassled Platform Bootie" (hint hint mom and dad). Here is a picture below... in case you get my drift. Okay, now that I can hear my parents laughing hysterically at the thought of even buying me these wonderful pieces of art, I will carry on with life... and dream of them, as I so often do.
If only I were Imelda Marcos, bathing in shoes... not to be too vulgar, but that bitch had everything, shoe wise that is.

Okay, really...it has come to my attention that I have reached the point that no one is probably reading this anymore, or beginning to dose off into a comatose state. I apologize... until next time all.