Keeping up with the... Lymanshians.

Don't have much to write on lately since my life consists of nothing but shopping, sitting on my couch and eating...
Today I watched a full 4 hours of Keeping Up With the Kardashian's on E! What a perfect way to spend my Sunday. What did I learn from these enlightening women? I learned the difference between a Tampon and Pad, Fresh eggs and store bought eggs, how to trust your boyfriend, to never leak sex pictures or take sex pictures and that everyone should live a life of fame. Ach, watching the Kardashian's is like going to school, I learn a plethora of important information that is sure to be useful in my future endeavors. After this, I watched another hour of Diners, Drive ins and Dives, then something else on the Food Network and then watched Maid in Manhattan. A fulfilling day it was... Oh, I also ate Pizza.

My sister was supposed to come home from England yesterday but her flight was canceled due to the "snow storm" that seemed to hit the UK. Apparently their definition of snow storm is 1cm on the ground and light flurries that melt when they touch cement. Dani said it was the most ridiculous thing she has ever seen, people in a panic, driving slow... acting like it was the blizzard of the century. Because of this great panic, she won't be home until the 22nd.

Alright I will write more later, I am exhausted from my busy day of doing nothing.

Ciao for now.

Top 10

As Hanukkah came to a close I realized I never made a wish list for my parents, god... being away from home can really screw with your mind. So, friends, family, strangers... For the first time ever... (well kind of) I am now celebrating Christmas and accepting gifts as they come. Here are my top five wants, or as I like to call them... NEEDS:

1. Alexander Wang Darcy Slouchy Hobo bag- Okay yes it looks like all other bags I own, however, it is slightly different... notice the "hobo" in the name. I do not own a hobo bag right now, this could definitely work in my wardrobe.

2. Community Wool Cadet Coat- Okay, this is ALMOST what I want except for the fact that the one that I want has a fur hood... I think. I saw this super tall girl trying it on in Aritzia and it made me almost cry how beautiful it looked. Thus, mom... can I have it please???? Seriously, I only have a puffy winter parka and not a warm nice winter jacket... I could use some style this holiday season. Nobody wants to be the outcast...
(But seriously mom, I really want and NEED this....)


3. Michael kors Hamilton Tote- Yea yea, I know I already said I wanted the Wang bag (haha Wang), but how sexy sophisticated is this one?? For just $298 you could buy me this!!! That's right folks it's that cheap! I would be crazy sophisticated wearing this bag... just can't get over it.

4. Clearly I also want a fur vest or as most websites label them a "waistcoat". I do not have a specific picture since I do not have a specific "waistcoat" in mind. However, the vest will be mine. Like Cruella Deville and her obsession with puppies... this is my obsession. Except I will not be making my vest out of Dalmatians.... I swear.



5. Next, you may say "wow Jesse those sure are high... are you high!?!!?" No silly friends... I am not high... maybe high off Yves Saint Laurent Tribtoo Suede Pumps, for they truly make me want to be a better person.






Well there ya have it... my top 5 wants/ needs, all in neutrals colors. I don't seem to wear much color these days, it scares the shit out of me. Bright purples and pinks and blues... makes me cringe. I know what your all saying "wow Jesse that's so depressing" FALSE, I like it so shut it.

On a less depressing color note, I am going home tomorrow and am bittersweet about it. Only bittersweet because I haven't left my bed all day so I don't really have feelings for anything right now, other then sleeping. What am I excited about? Well, the fact that Meryl has already mapped out all the restaurants we are going to eat at once I get home and all the shopping that is going to take place. Apparently she has discovered a plethora of new places to eat which excites me to no end... you know how I feel about food. Don't worry guys... I will make sure to take pictures of all the food I eat, you can now partake in the same experience Jeremy does (obviously it won't be the same).

Alright fools... I'm out, Brit is on her way home and I need to make a quick trip to the mall with her... but when is it ever quick? I'll let you know if anything good comes my way.
sayonara bitches.

Easily Amused...

Alright folks,

I know it's been a few days but things got a little hectic here on the home front (you know, school and such). Things are slowly beginning to get sorted out and finished so I can leave Toronto and go home to Edmonton, I need a break bad!

Things that have been going on... Friday was Brits birthday and we went to get our hair done (or as some would say, "got our hair did"). I basically got "ma hair did" for my grad pictures, which turned out semi OK. The robe they put me in was huge and made me look like a linebacker... unsure what a linebacker really is, but I hear the term often so I chose to use it (I know it's a football term... I don't do sports so that's as far as I can go with this...). Anyhow I took a really cute picture of my hair with me smiling to show my parents, and one without... and I by accident just deleted the one with me smiling so I am going to put up the one of me "pouting". How did I delete it? Well, I was deleting pictures of food from my phone since I had an abundance flooding my camera folder. I usually take pictures of everything I eat and send it to Jeremy in order to make him jealous (even if the food is gross), and then he sends me a message back how awesome he thinks the food I am eating is... (okay, whatever... it's a complex relationship, don't judge us).


Okay, I know I look like a total douche in this picture so don't judge me, I just wanted to show everyone how fabulous my hair looks (and my new lipgloss)... the other picture was so much better... I swear, it existed. Also, the fact that I am taking a picture of myself through a bathroom mirror does not help the situation... however, I live away from home and my parents need to see me somehow, right??? Ach whatever, excuses excuses...Also memo to self, clean my bathroom mirror- Had a little spritz problem when brushing my teeth... woopsy.

I am not a professional blogger who has individuals take photographs for them- case in point... HOLLER. This picture is way better... notice the white blouse (sweet grad photo styles).

This would be my definition of a smile- you could only imagine what my grad photos look like.

Okay, so besides showing everyone pictures of my new hair while I make fun of myself at the same time... I will further discuss my weekend events, they consisted of Latkes. Latkes you ask?! Why yes friends, LATKES.What an eventful weekend (and yes, this picture was originally taken for Jeremy).

Okay also, Alli just told me about a fantastic new website I need to share. I am giving her all the credit because I did not find this... she is the genius behind this incredible find. To my friends out there I am now unveiling: http://breadpeople.tumblr.com/
Wow Jesse, what is this cool website you are introducing us to (through Alli) you might ask? It is exactly what it looks like...BREAD PEOPLE. What an amazing, incredible, phenomenal and as my Jeremy said, "this makes me hungry" website. I am not quite sure how it makes one hungry looking at people made out of bread, but I won't argue.

SO, we watched/ are watching Zoolander in "Europe A La Mode" and I thought I would leave you with an inspirational quote via Hansel (so hot right now, Hansel).
 "Sting. Sting would be another person who's a hero. The music he's created over the years, I don't really listen to it, but the fact that he's making it, I respect that."

I respect you Hansel, I really do.

Fur Glorious Fur..

So, the countdown begins to my journey back to Edmonton, city of dreams... or something like that. Is it weird I am waiting to shop for when I get home? "Edmonton- Fashion capital of the world"... not so much. Oh well, 7% GST is better then 13% tax if you ask me.

Recently I have become obsessed with fur, as mentioned previously in a post... fur and leather. I have never worn my leather jacket so much as I am this year, I am starting to think I should buy a motorcycle to match my look, especially when I pair it with my Michael Kors boots, I looks slightly badass.... only a little. Whatever enough about me. As boredom hit (after falling asleep at 10 pm and waking up at 1:30 am) I decided to browse the Proenza Schouler website (once again out of hopes and dreams that I could afford anything) and then began to realize how sad my closet actually is, designer garb always reminds me that I need to make more money so I can afford it... that or ... well there is no or. Lets take it back a few days (thanksgiving) and say what we are thankful for. I am thankful that I have overcome seventh grade and no longer wear clothing from Suzy Shier, Le Chateau or Parasuco, the fact that I even admitted any of that frightens me to no end, please do not hold that against me... I rocked all of that shit. Oh my evolution over the years... I swear, it only got better...I am also thankful for money. That is all.

Oh, besides all of that greedy greedy... I have the unfortunate pleasure of having my grad photos taken tomorrow, and if you have seen my roots, you would cringe and the thought of being forever known as "the daughter with the bad roots in her grad photo", so I clearly made a hair appointment. In addition to a hair appointment I also bought a new white blouse to wear underneath the gown... don't judge me, I didn't have one before. Besides, H&M was having a sale so it was cheap. Oh, and while I was there I saw a few pieces from the Lanvin collection... I was not so impressed... let's leave it at that. Rumi Neely may have looked good in her Lanvin dress (see fashiontoast.com), however the material was way harsh and I would have swam in it.

Here's a little reminder of my past... before I go to bed to show all of you how amazing I used to be. Keep in mind this was only 2-3 years ago. Smoking nargila, hooka, shisha or whatever you want to call it. This picture is my way of saying "peace out" for the night...

Back... bitches... ?

After a wonderful vacation away with the Bear, I am back in Toronto... BOOOOOO.


I feel heavier... I think I may have gained about 10 pounds due to thanksgiving, oh well...such is life (and no mom and dad, I will not go to the gym). Sadly enough the only pictures I took on my trip were of Jer and I at Carnegie Deli... a true thisiswhyyourefat.com moment brought to you by... ME. Case in point, see picture (as usual I ate my whole half and Jeremy left the whole turkey portion of his, so sad). However, New York was great (as always). We traveled all the way to Brooklyn just to get my Jeffrey Campbell boots (Yeah, I got them!!!), went to the Meat Packing District, Soho, Times Square... the usual. I was a little disappointed with shopping and did not buy as much as I thought.

Other then all of that, I saw Harry Potter!!!! I don't know which I was more excited about, seeing Harry Potter, or the Chronicles of Narnia preview that came on before (get ready mom)! Also, how much do you want to be a wizard or a witch after you watch Harry Potter? Like I have dreams for days after watching the movie. I dream that I can fly and cast spells... I envy Meryl in her witchcraft class... I wonder if she has learned to make polyjuice potion yet...Probably not, I'll have to settle for best friends that are not witches or wizards, and just learn about it in ridiculous university classes (just kidding I love you non the less)... still cool, regardless if she is a real witch or not.

On to the next exciting point of the weekend, maybe even one of the highlights, or as my dad would say "one of the douchiest points" of my weekend. Guess who I Jesse "S" (I don't like to tell people my middle name) Lyman saw driving around Freehold New Jersey!? Yes folks... that's right.... you guessed it!!!! THE SITUATION. The 60 year old looking guido himself driving his 2008 used Bentley coupe, what a stud. As if the world wasn't filled with enough douches already, this guy had to come along... I  can't lie though... I got really excited. If I had a little guidette in me, I would have flashed him... however, I may have exploded being the grenade I am. Jokes jokes jokes.... About the flashing part (I swear I would never flash someone).  I took the liberty of including a picture of him and labeling it "old man", in case you were not 100 percent convinced, now you are. It does not take away from the fact I saw him though... BE EXCITED FOR ME.

OK, 2:45 am for real. What have I been doing for the past 4 hours since I got home from seeing Jer? Why, I'm so glad you asked... I have been obsessing over finding a faux fur vest thanks to my sister. I tried a bunch on in New York and decided I look fabulous in them (no matter how man repelling I am, please see www.manrepeller.com for details, she is my saint). So, now I am obsessively scrounging the interweb for a store that sells a fur vest in Toronto... no such luck as of yet. Until next time... A little something to tickle your fancy...

tomorrow tomorrow ill love ya tomorrow....

Can tomorrow come any slower?!?

Apparently it can... I took it upon my self to call a taxi over 24 hours early so I could feel like I was leaving to the States earlier then I actually was. Cool Jesse...

Let's talk about something else... Like the fact that theoutnet.com is having a Marc Jacobs New York Rocker bag giveaway and I entered it. Don't tell anyone because I want to win... and the less entries means I will. But since no one actually reads this but my parents, sister, boyfriend and the random friend or two... I am assuming no one else will enter it. Thanks guys, your the best! But seriously... hello you sexy looking bag, RAWR.

I actually can't wait for tomorrow, if I didn't just pee... I would probably pee my pants. I have already planned out my Saturday New York route and where I want to go to shop. Don't judge me... My wardrobe is lacking and this future fashion industry queen needs to get cracking on her looks.

I took it upon my self to contact every store Jeffrey Campbell listed on their website to ask whether they sold the Pixie boot. Apparently I'm mentally disabled as one girl snarled at me and said "Umm seriously? we don't carry those this season". Thanks for shattering my hopes and dreams bitch. Finally, I took a page out of Dad's book and contacted JC himself (not Jesus Christ), but Jeffrey Campbell. They gave me a few stores which yes, sell the Pixie- since it's still in season (thanks a lot you stuck up cow). Sorry I live in Canada and the Pixie just came out "this season", I must be delusional BUT if I am not mistaken, they are still in this season as I just looked at the creepy trailer trash looking SS/2011 lookbook and BOOM there they are! Whatev i'm over it.

Anyway, I have had enough obsessive searching the internet for sales, deals and contests.... it's time to go to bed and or watch tv. More so go to bed... or play wordmole on my blackberry, I will never admit to that other then on here, only because no one reads this. It's harder then it looks.

Retraction

Okay,
I just saw that Oprah did her favorite things episode in 2 parts... I retract my previous statement about her not giving away "houses and cars and shit". She gave away "cars and shit"... specifically a 2012 Volkswagen Beetle, thanks for proving me wrong Oprah.

"it's just uh... a little crush, not like I faint, everytime we touch"

Okay,

Question of the day… week, month, year…Is it OK to want a 12 year old boy as my boyfriend (sorry Jer)?... But, Greyson Chance is seriously in the running... and I don't mean for America's Next top model. Last night my friend Alli and I were swooning over Greyson and his incredible voice (which is different then our usual thisiswhyourefat.com swooning- If you have not been there I suggest you go). This made me wonder… is it okay to have a “singer crush” (let’s call it that) on a prepubescent teen? I am starting to sound like Dr. Phil and Oprah now (sad it's her last year). Too bad she can’t have me be a guest on her show for being a 22 year old mildly inappropriate individual. Do you think she would categorize me as a “sexual predator”? Whatever, don’t judge me… it’s not about you. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kKbWvHbf2ho&feature=player_embedded

Speaking of Oprah, I missed her favorite things episode so I did a little recap on the website. As usual, I was expecting Oprah to give away houses, and cars and shit so honestly I was a little disappointed when i saw her toting brownie mix and mac and cheese, which I could walk to the store and get. Way uncool Oprah. Other then that, I guess a TV, Ipad and Cruise is pretty cool... but don't tell anyone I said that. I say all this now but I'm sure I would be the one screaming and jumping up and down crying in the audience over brownie mix... So unfortunate, yet so classic. 

Thus I sit in my "Europe A La Mode" class, which somehow can be translated into "European Fashion" (don't ask me how), contemplating Alexander Mcqueen's 2009/2010 Ready to Wear collection as I am listening to a presentation that refers to it, schvitsing from the sudden heat increase in this classroom. Somehow we got into a debate on whether it is fashionable to wear too many layers in the winter and sweat too much versus wearing too little and freeze... Oh Europe A La Mode, how truly fashionable you are... It's time to pay attention... Will write more later, facebook is calling (did i say pay attention)? 

How it all began...

Okay, this is all so new and strange to me (like being born again, but less weird)...

I feel like I should be starting with "dear diary", however,  i would probably be shunned by the blogging world...

My dad (Lawrie, Lawrence- whatever you want to call him) always tells me how I should create a "twitter" or a blog since I call him and my mom 80 times a day. Listen, when a girls got something to say, a girls got something to say, and I have a lot to say. So let me break it down for you. This wondrous blog will highlight the marvelous life that belongs to me, and what goes on inside my brain. Specifically fashion, and everyday things that I encounter. Not much else happens in my life... sorry to disappoint, I know I said my life was marvelous but I kind of lied.

First things first, I am awaiting my departure to the land of the free (United States) for American Thanksgiving to visit "the bear" (Jeremy, my boyfriend)! I apologize to all Canadian's, but I have never wanted to be American more then I do during this wonderful holiday (duh- Black Friday).  I will be making a special trip from Jersey to New York City (Concrete Jungle where dreams are made of), in order to spend my hard earned money on clothing I do not necessarily need, making my mother proud- sorry mom. I've been on the hunt for a great pair of ankle boots for quite some time... I hope New York doesn't disappoint.

 I'm a huge fan of the Jeffrey Campbell Pixie boot in Black suede and have had my eye/ eyes (not only one), on these puppies for a while, however I would not complain if anyone wanted to contribute an extra..... $1495.00 (not to be too exact) dollars in order for me to get a pair of Christian Louboutin's either, I would not object. Okay, if we are getting really specific, I will give you a name... its the "Tassled Platform Bootie" (hint hint mom and dad). Here is a picture below... in case you get my drift. Okay, now that I can hear my parents laughing hysterically at the thought of even buying me these wonderful pieces of art, I will carry on with life... and dream of them, as I so often do.
If only I were Imelda Marcos, bathing in shoes... not to be too vulgar, but that bitch had everything, shoe wise that is.

Okay, really...it has come to my attention that I have reached the point that no one is probably reading this anymore, or beginning to dose off into a comatose state. I apologize... until next time all.