Thursday, February 24, 2011

Lifestyles of the rich and the heinous...

OK... UGG's were never considered "beautiful" footwear, however they were/are comfortable. I will admit I wear them to the gym, grocery store and in heavy snow falls... Women, men, and children wear them for comfort... but style? I don't know, I don't know if anyone really considers themselves a style icon while doting a giant sheepskin boot. So, what is really frustrating me (beyond belief) is that UGG keeps creating this hideous creations that they consider wonderful and sells them to the public, who in return eats them up... in addition, they collaborated with Jimmy Choo this past year and as of recent with Swarovski. If you didn't notice, those heinous Jimmy Choo UGG's were on the sale rack within like a month... isn't that reason enough to stop wasting your companies money with pointless collaborations that don't sell? I don't know about you, but I am not down to spend my money on an 800 dollar pair of UGG's with studs or rhinestones strategically placed all over them.
So here it is... I present you UGG and the City (I made that name up myself):

Guess which ones these are??? Common... Guess, guess!!!! BINGO!!! VEGAS BABY!!! Why buy a plane ticket to Vegas when you can have the city right on your feet for the same price!?! Brilliant UGG, just Brilliant.
I like how they made New York the color of concrete, now my feet really are a concrete jungle where dreams are made of, feet dreams. UGG really seems to know what I (the consumer) wants in my boot. I can't wait to spend 800 dollars on these beauties.

                It's so impressive how well they emulate the city... it's almost like I'm there. It's really going to be hard to choose the perfect city boot. But don't forget... if you like the country better, they have the American flag on a boot, or the United Kingdom on a boot... apparently UGG doesn't appreciate Canada, totally would have bought those.

Let's make a bet which celeb will be seen in this... mmmmm Miley Cyrus!?!

On a completely different note. My friend Kaley sent me a picture of the very pregnant Rachel Zoe the other day... seems that she got incredibly pregnant over night. I guess there is just so long you can hide your stomach for until people notice your not 20 pounds anymore... People are so amazed that she is so stylish and able to walk in 5'' heels when she is pregnant, but here's what I say. Now she knows how it feels to be a normal person. Yes Rachel... that's how much normal people weigh, we all need to carry that much body weight on a regular basis... I know, BA-NA-NAS.
Rodger is going to be in for quite the surprise when the due date comes and shes on the table, legs spread and a pair of Louboutin's and a Versace gown pops out, "So that's where those went...".  I kid, I kid... But really...

Aight folks... I am currently in Philadelphia and have to get going... that's all for now. Lataaaa

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Grammylicious, kind of like Fergalicious but better.

I am mid Grammys right now and I have a few things to discuss and critique/ give my not so professional opinion on... because I can.

A tribute to Aretha Franklin: Alright, I am not so concerned about the music, more so about the outfits in this tribute.
Jennifer Hudson looked absolutely amazing in her Alexander McQueen Resort 2011 Embellished top, well suited and stunning. Poor girl looked horrendously nervous, but who the eff cares, McQueen solved all. Next... I hate to be rude but when did Christina Aguilera get so fat? Either she is pregnant,  (again? Out of wedlock girlfriend, you go girl!) or she chose the wrong gown for this show. Jer said because she is going through a divorce she is eating her feelings...good thoughts Jer. Her belly was bulging. Whatever, anyways...the second I saw Florence Welch in that beautiful gown i said "Elie Saab"! Duuhhhh. I have been obsessing over his couture collection for quite some time now... and whadya know, its Elie Saab couture. Looked stunning with her red locks. I don't really care about the other women, I am all about the xtina... girlfriends been my favorite since I was a wee girl, fat or not. 

Nicki Minaj looked like a moron, as usual. I don't care who designed your heinous outfit, heinous is heinous.... regardless if god him/herself designed it. Picture Latisha from the Adams Family mixed with a dead Leopard.                                                                                                                                   
Speaking of morons, the infamous Lady Gaga made quite the entrance... in a giant egg. Carried like an Egyptian egg queen, Ms. Gaga was carried through the red carpet in a latex looking egg to promote (or "symbolize") being "born this way". To make matters worse, or better... depending on how you see the situation, she hatched out of this egg on stage just in time for her performance of "Born This Way". Her whole performance made me want to vomit... not to be too critical or anything. She had these weird shoulder implant looking things on that made her shoulders look so disgusting, and her whole performance was very Britney Spears (the dancing aspect), but also very Madonna circa 1980's. Whatever I'm over it.
Here is lady egghead in here egg mobile...

Okay I am over being really critical for a few minutes... maybe. Kim Kardashian, what can I say... she always seems to look stunning when it comes to red carpet events, but perhaps this was a little trashy... I honestly can't make up my mind. Girls got a great stylist though. Her sex appeal is dead on. Not sure how I feel about the nude Louboutin's that she paired with it... but I will accept them, just because I said I was done being critical for a moment. 

Selena Gomez looked great in a J. Mendel dress, really gorgeous.
Anyways, that is all I have to say for now because I have a presentation due tomorrow and I have not finished it.

Other favorites of the night- The biebs in his velvet outfit haha yesssss, Lea Michelle's Pucci dress (although her face sucked tonight- no offense to you half Jew half whatever you are... I still accept you).

Misses- Miley Cyrus (too much jewelry), Eva Longoria, Jennifer Lopez *still on the fence*, Rihanna, Katy Perry

I know there were soooo many more gorgeous and not so gorgeous outfits, however, someone else will have to be critical, I have exhausted myself and really need to go...

Until next time...                                            

Friday, February 11, 2011

I am Back... And better than ever

I am back, and as mentioned in the title, better then ever. I have been doing some soul searching, and some revamping of my life... whatever details shmeetails, who needs them?

So, first order of business, THE GAP. I was doing some research for a Fashions class and came across these old treasures... take a look. I know... I began to feel nostalgic after that and searched for about 8000 GAP ads.

Can YOU spot Rashida Jones (The Office, I Love You Man) in the "Mellow Yellow" ad?  Wonderful... just wonderful...

Next order of business... Rodarte's "Curve of Forgotten Things", anyone seen it? It is his new short featuring 12 year old Elle Fanning... yeah, I said it, 12. My friend Kaley showed this to my class and we are all stumped, for various reasons. what does it all mean!?!!?

Is she digging out gold? An asteroid? Is she a 12 year old alien? It's hard to interpret... One thing I know is that the clothing is beautiful, that I can not deny. Is it strange that it's being modeled on an infant? perhaps... but to each his own. This video has such a creepy feel, she just looks like a child serial killer waiting for her prime move. Have to say it though... she is way prettier then Dakota Fanning, sorry guys.

Alright, because I am slightly behind on my posts, some of the things I am going to be writing about may be dated... apologies, but I am still allowed an opinion right?

Okay, these may be some of the ugliest shoes I have ever seen in my life. Created by Massimo Dogana, these pieces of art retail for around $1100. If I wanted to say Fuck you to someone, I would say it with my mouth, not my shoes.

To ad insult to injury, Ashanti was seen wearing a version of the stripper like heels at the BCBG MaxAzria Runway show on Thursday. The shoe comes complete with a rhinestone tennis bracelet and manicured fingernails... why spoil yourself when you can spoil your shoes? HIDEOUS.

And to end this glorious blogging day, I will finish off with a quote from the infamous Joan Rivers in regards to Victoria Beckham, "She is a slut because she’s stunning, elegant and amazing and I’m so fucking jealous of her 32 Birkin bags."Here here sister, here here.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Nearly dead.

I promise I will write soon! I am knee deep in school and other things!!!

Dont be hatin!

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

A new year

Well hello there!

Happy New Year to all, I hope everyone enjoyed their festivities/ celebrations. I am now back in Toronto and hating every minute of it. I legit cried at the airport before I left... I called my mom and said, "please don't make me go back, please!" But, no use... I am here and already miserable. I have an exam next week and a plethora of work to do, not to mention still 3 months of school left. Let us pray that it will go fast. New Years was a hit, I made a resolution (a little too late- today), to start going to the gym and get a trainer. So I have been calling gyms and making arrangements for this to happen.. hopefully by next week the excitement doesn't die down and I am still motivated (not eating 6 portions of pasta on my couch watching gossip girl and pretty little liars- don't tell anyone I watch that). I am going to go to an all Women's gym in a semi religious area of Toronto so I expect to not feel so bad when I am red as hell and dripping sweat, however, I hope they don't mind me wearing short spandex shorts and a tank top... I don't have a choice, I get overheated... seriously. Working out for me is like the average person doing hot yoga.

Ah, back to New Years... Meryl, Jer and I decorated Meryl's house and then had a bunch of people over for the celebrations and food. It started off with us watching 2000 episodes of roasts on the comedy network. Flava Flav, David Hasselhoff, and Pam Anderson to name a few... Then progressed into the usual shpiel. Do not be fooled by the picture below, I was sober all night (I like to give the illusion of a drunk). That way when everyone was like "oh man I was so wasted the other night" I can be all like... "yeah man, I drank 2 bottles of champagne!"

On another note... Jeremy looks like a 21 year old dumbledore celebrating the New year. Good for you Jer! No one was really supposed to see these pictures but us....Too late now!

I look heinous in this picture, but I suppose everyone else looks good, so I will keep it, as a token of my appreciation to my friends... and gratitude to them for looking so fierce!

Alright alright, I have had enough. Lately I have been browsing s/s 2011 labels looking for gowns for my aunt for a special occasion and have gotten to see some pretty fabulous pieces. As per usual I love Alexander Mcqueen's whole collection, he (well his line- womp woommp) is really starting to be a fave in my books. Another runner up in my fashion loving heart is Elie Saab, his Spring/ Summer 2011 Ready to wear collection is gorgeous not to mention all of his Haute couture pieces are out of this world.

This image is from Mcqueen's Resort 2011 collection and makes me want to be a better person (image taken from However, all the models/ the one model used in this whole campaign makes me cringe... but whatever, at least shes a model. I don't see myself strutting around in Mcqueen anytime soon.

Next is from Elie Saab's S/S 2011 Ready to wear collection. Listen, I don't wear much color anymore, maybe it's the weight gain, maybe as Khloe kardashian said "I am just depressed today ok!" (clearly to cover up her weight gain), but if I did... I would wear this, sans nipples... okay, maybe with nipples. I don't know, I would have to see how my nipples looked that day. Either way, with or without my nipples, I would wear this... and wear it good.

Okay, apparently I am being punished because my internet just stopped loading pages. A word of advise, never live in off campus student housing. "The Server is busy"... bullshit.

Off to bed to dream of nipple revealing outfits....

nighty night.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Keeping up with the... Lymanshians.

Don't have much to write on lately since my life consists of nothing but shopping, sitting on my couch and eating...
Today I watched a full 4 hours of Keeping Up With the Kardashian's on E! What a perfect way to spend my Sunday. What did I learn from these enlightening women? I learned the difference between a Tampon and Pad, Fresh eggs and store bought eggs, how to trust your boyfriend, to never leak sex pictures or take sex pictures and that everyone should live a life of fame. Ach, watching the Kardashian's is like going to school, I learn a plethora of important information that is sure to be useful in my future endeavors. After this, I watched another hour of Diners, Drive ins and Dives, then something else on the Food Network and then watched Maid in Manhattan. A fulfilling day it was... Oh, I also ate Pizza.

My sister was supposed to come home from England yesterday but her flight was canceled due to the "snow storm" that seemed to hit the UK. Apparently their definition of snow storm is 1cm on the ground and light flurries that melt when they touch cement. Dani said it was the most ridiculous thing she has ever seen, people in a panic, driving slow... acting like it was the blizzard of the century. Because of this great panic, she won't be home until the 22nd.

Alright I will write more later, I am exhausted from my busy day of doing nothing.

Ciao for now.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Top 10

As Hanukkah came to a close I realized I never made a wish list for my parents, god... being away from home can really screw with your mind. So, friends, family, strangers... For the first time ever... (well kind of) I am now celebrating Christmas and accepting gifts as they come. Here are my top five wants, or as I like to call them... NEEDS:

1. Alexander Wang Darcy Slouchy Hobo bag- Okay yes it looks like all other bags I own, however, it is slightly different... notice the "hobo" in the name. I do not own a hobo bag right now, this could definitely work in my wardrobe.

2. Community Wool Cadet Coat- Okay, this is ALMOST what I want except for the fact that the one that I want has a fur hood... I think. I saw this super tall girl trying it on in Aritzia and it made me almost cry how beautiful it looked. Thus, mom... can I have it please???? Seriously, I only have a puffy winter parka and not a warm nice winter jacket... I could use some style this holiday season. Nobody wants to be the outcast...
(But seriously mom, I really want and NEED this....)

3. Michael kors Hamilton Tote- Yea yea, I know I already said I wanted the Wang bag (haha Wang), but how sexy sophisticated is this one?? For just $298 you could buy me this!!! That's right folks it's that cheap! I would be crazy sophisticated wearing this bag... just can't get over it.

4. Clearly I also want a fur vest or as most websites label them a "waistcoat". I do not have a specific picture since I do not have a specific "waistcoat" in mind. However, the vest will be mine. Like Cruella Deville and her obsession with puppies... this is my obsession. Except I will not be making my vest out of Dalmatians.... I swear.

5. Next, you may say "wow Jesse those sure are high... are you high!?!!?" No silly friends... I am not high... maybe high off Yves Saint Laurent Tribtoo Suede Pumps, for they truly make me want to be a better person.

Well there ya have it... my top 5 wants/ needs, all in neutrals colors. I don't seem to wear much color these days, it scares the shit out of me. Bright purples and pinks and blues... makes me cringe. I know what your all saying "wow Jesse that's so depressing" FALSE, I like it so shut it.

On a less depressing color note, I am going home tomorrow and am bittersweet about it. Only bittersweet because I haven't left my bed all day so I don't really have feelings for anything right now, other then sleeping. What am I excited about? Well, the fact that Meryl has already mapped out all the restaurants we are going to eat at once I get home and all the shopping that is going to take place. Apparently she has discovered a plethora of new places to eat which excites me to no end... you know how I feel about food. Don't worry guys... I will make sure to take pictures of all the food I eat, you can now partake in the same experience Jeremy does (obviously it won't be the same).

Alright fools... I'm out, Brit is on her way home and I need to make a quick trip to the mall with her... but when is it ever quick? I'll let you know if anything good comes my way.
sayonara bitches.